Pros and Cons
by Naasad
Summary: In which Dick Grayson should never be allowed to give advice ever again. [DamiJack/SquirtGun]


"Grayson, I require your assistance."

Dick sighed and Jason gestured over his shoulder. "I think you're being paged."

Damian stamped into the room, grabbed Dick by the hand, and dragged him up to his bedroom, where he propped open his laptop. "I have been feeling ill around Aqualad as of late, and I need your help determining why. I know he gives off certain Atlantean pheremones, perhaps I am 'allergic' to them as it were. I'd like to rule out human reaction to Atlantean physiology, if I may. Please review this list of symptoms and tell me if you have previously experienced them in the presence of Tempest."

Dick sighed and looked over his shoulder. "Nausea, dizziness, numbness, and rapid pulse." He closed his eyes and tried to remember. "Wait. Synonyms for these 'symptoms' would be queasiness, lightheadedness, tingling, and well, rapid pulse explains itself."

Damian scoffed. "Yes, yes, use whatever terminology you please, just answer the question."

"Yes," Dick said. "I felt that way every time I was around Garth for about a year or three-"

"Excellent," Damian interrupted, slamming the laptop shut. "Then the problem will solve itself."

"Damian." Dick put a hand on his shoulder. "I felt that way because I had a major crush on him."

Damian froze. "I don't- I'm not-"

"Gay? It's okay if you are. Like I just said, I definitely am."

"No, it's not that." Damian shook his head. "I am above such distractions."

"Okay, but you're also a teenage boy." Dick grinned. "And Jackson is both very handsome and very gay."

Damian muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"He prefers Jack," Damian said.

Dick laughed and ruffled Damian's hair. "Don't worry about it, everybody's doomed to have a first crush. Do you want to spend more time with him?"

"No," Damian snarled, "I want these irritable feelings to go the hell away."

"Language." Dick chewed his lip in concentration. "Come on, let's make a list. Best way to make the feelings go away is to figure out why it would be a bad idea." He reached for Damian's sketchbook and opened it to find several sketches of the new Aqualad. He cast Damian a knowing smile and flipped to an empty page before drawing a line straight down the middle. "Reasons it's a bad idea on this side, reasons it's a good idea on the other."

"Fine," Damian spat. "Get out so I can think."

Dick chuckled and left.

Several hours later, Damian returned the sheet of paper, staring at his shoes.

Dick frowned and unfolded it, noting the 'Pros' side was filled front and back, while the 'Cons' side only had four bullet points.

 **1\. Feelings of this sort are a distraction during combat.**

 **2\. I am team leader and cannot afford the appearance of favoritism.**

 **3\. Our enemies could use us against each other.**

 **4\. He is, occasionally, very annoying.**

"It didn't work," Damian mumbled, covering his blushing face with his hands, as Dick smirked at the 'Pros' he had listed.

"You could always try getting him to reject you," Dick said, thoughtfully, "but knowing you, you've already done that."

Damian glared at him. "Explain."

Dick smiled. "When you first came to the manor, you tested us, tried to push us to the point of giving up on you. I've noticed you do all that every time you make a new friend, whether or not it's on purpose."

Damian frowned. "Well, why should I waste my time with them if they are eventually going to abandon me, anyways?"

"Makes sense to me." Dick shrugged. "But Jack hasn't abandoned you yet, has he?"

Damian scuffed his toe on the floor. "No."

"So that only leaves one option."

Damian looked up at him, so hopeful.

"Do you want him to return your feelings? Do you want him to be a romantic partner?" Dick stared Damian down until the fourteen-year-old rather bashfully nodded. "Then all that's left to do is walk up to him in private and tell him 'Jack, I'm gay for you.'"

Damian glared at his older brother, but then his expression softened and he slowly tried out the words. "Jack, I'm gay for you."

"Good. So next time you go to Titans Tower, what are you going to do?"

Damian took a deep breath. "I'm going to walk up to him and say 'Jack, I'm gay for you.'"

Dick grinned.


End file.
